


A Deal With A Deity (Or Thorin's Obsession with Bilbo Baggins)

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (1977), The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit (Video game), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: A deal with the devil I mean deity, AND THAT AWFUL VIDEO GAME VERSION, Creepy!Thorin, M/M, Obsession, Obsessive Behaviour, Possessive Behavior, SuperCreepy!Thorin, YES THIS EVEN INCLUDES THE ANIMATED MOVIE
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-06
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-10 14:58:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU</p><p>In which Thorin makes a deal to relive his life over and over to make Bilbo his, and now it's his last life.</p><p>Thorin isn't about to lose, and he will do anything to win his hobbit. Anyone who tried to intervene or stop him be damned. He fought too hard to lose again.</p><p>Lots and lots of Creepy!Thorin. Trigger warning for obsessive behavior and unhealthy relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So I was playing the awful video game and the idea came to me. In order, the multiple lives of Thorin Oakenshield:
> 
> 1) The Hobbit (book)  
> 2) The Hobbit (1977)  
> 3) The Hobbit (1982 video game, and seriously, why does the fandom not discuss this game? Sure it was awful, but the entire game involved only Bilbo and Thorin traveling together, and at times he'd do the most random shot if you did nothing for a while.)  
> 4) The Hobbit (2003 video game, not quite as awful as the 1982 video game)  
> 5) The Hobbit movie trilogy (2012-2014)  
> 6) This fanfic (2013-?)

"One more life," the god said. "You've promised time and time before to make things change, and though in the beginning it has, by the end you're back to your old self. I have to admit, in the last life you nearly had him. Though you insulted him in the beginning, you did get him to save your life without question. Why he did it, I'm still not sure, but you did have it going strong until you got to Erebor and things repeated. You became obsessed with gold, he stole the Arkenstone for your good, and you threw him away. Then comes battle time and you and your nephews died." The god yawned. "It's getting quite boring to watch. Maybe you two just weren't meant to be."

"No, Mahal," Thorin said. He remembered the first time he'd died, when Bilbo had cried with him. Only then did Thorin realize that he loved the hobbit, when it had been too late to do anything.  He'd vowed to make a merrier world somehow, and that was why he'd made the deal with Mahal. "We were. We've just had some minor slip ups, but I can assure you that I will have the hobbit in this life, and I will do whatever else I can to keep all my company alive."

"I don't believe you," the god replied, "but I will let you do this one more time."

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" Thorin bowed to his god. "I promise to offer great blessings to you after Bilbo and I get married."

The god smirked. "We'll see, Thorin Oakenshield, we'll see."

No, Thorin thought. I know that this time I'll win. Erebor will be mine, no one will die in battle, and maybe battle will be prevented. And Bilbo? Bilbo will be mine forever.

"One last thing," Thorin said, "before I go."

"What? Don't waste my time. I want to get you back on your quest once more."

"If I win and Bilbo marries me," he said, "will you allow him with me into the dwarf afterlife? I honor your wife dearly, but he cannot go into her gardens for all eternity."

"If you win," Mahal said, sounding like an exasperated adult talking to a child, "then he will be allowed in here by your side for all eternity. In fact, you will be honored guests."

Thorin smiled. "Thank you. I will not fail this time."

"You don't know that yet."

~

He is the first to arrive at Bag End this time, getting there over two hours before Dwalin. It used to be that he came in a group (and ended up getting squished by Bombur), or there was that time that he ended up coming there last. He hadn't really been lost, just worried about failing. And what a mess that life had been! It had been filled with good moments (nothing could compare to the short relationship that they'd in that life), but had also been filled with awful ones. For someone he claimed to care about, he certainly insulted the hobbit. And he hadn't made his intentions clear enough at times; how was the poor hobbit supposed to know about dwarf courting rituals? And he'd made Bilbo want to leave! He'd only said those words to make sure Bilbo stayed safely in his hole and didn't get hurt. When he'd gotten even the slightest papercut in other lives, Thorin had freaked. But now things were different, and surely for the better.

"Hello," the hobbit said when he opened the door, a look of confusion passing over his face. Thorin just wanted to grab him now and taste those lips again. He restrained himself, knowing soon he would be able to.

He bowed. In other lives he hadn't, not humbling himself to this level. Now he knew just how much respect this little hobbit really deserved. Bilbo had saved his life many times before, and soon he would again! "Thorin Oakenshield," he said, "at your service."

The hobbit froze, wondering what to do. Finally, he himself bowed. "B-Bilbo Baggins, at your service as well." He bit his lip. "Do we know each other?"

Yes, yes, yes! We've known each other many times before, but soon we'll never know each other again if my plan fails!

"No," he said, "but I am quite polite. Do you need help preparing supper? Or reshelving your library?" That was certainly different from his last lives. If he kept that up then surely Bilbo would be with him in no time.

Bilbo looked confused, unsure of what to say. He opened the door wider, allowing Thorin inside. Thorin walked in, Bag End being just as he remembered. This time he treated it with the utmost respect, putting away his coat and boots neatly, making sure not to get mud on anything. Bilbo was still flustered, unsure of what to say or do.

"I need some weeding to be done in my garden." he finally said. "Would you mind helping me with that?"

"Yes!" Thorin said excitedly. It was the most unexciting thing ever, but he did it well. Bilbo was impressed.

"Thank you very much Th-" Bilbo paused.

"Thorin Oakenshield," he said, hiding his disappointment.

"Thorin Oakenshield!" Bilbo frowned. "I'm so sorry." The way Bilbo said that and the way he frowned made Thorin want to cry.

Soon he'll be crying from happiness, Thorin reminded himself. He won't be able to keep his paws off of you and that will be just fine.

A hobbit suddenly yelled, "Bilbo Baggins, you strange one, who in Eru Iluvatar's name is that?" 

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, he thought with vile. That damn woman who had caused Bilbo so much trouble in his past lives. The poor hobbit looked unsure of what to say, his face flushed pink with embarrassment.

Anger swelled through Thorin. "It's none of your business, you nasty old hag!"

Lobelia scowled, but left. Bilbo and Thorin went inside. Only when his door was safely shut behind him did Bilbo laugh. It was the happiest thing Thorin had ever heard, and he had to keep himself from scooping the hobbit in his arms right then and there.

"You certainly told her!" Bilbo said, wiping a tear away from his eyes. "That was beautiful!"

Thorin smiled. "I was just speaking the truth."

"I'm beginning to really like you." Bilbo smiled, and Thorin's heart soared. Things were going even better than originally planned.

When Dwalin showed up, he did not carelessly drop his weapons and drag in mud. When his brother came, they did not headbutt each other. When Fili and Kili arrived, he made sure that they treated him with the utmost respect. There was no "Mister Boggins" nonsense that night.

His entire company was respectful. They ate all of Bilbo's pantry, but they ate slowly, to where Bilbo wouldn't have the chance to realize it until later. There was no singing, but the conversation was at least merry.

And then Gandalf really explained everything. Thorin had tried explaining earlier, but Bilbo had seemed confused. Now his face was whiter than a sheet, and they hadn't even gotten to the part about incineration (and he certainly wasn't going to know about that).

So Thorin spoke. "We are trained warriors; if anything is strong enough to kill us then they will at least be inflicted with a good fight." That was mostly a lie, but he shot his company a quick glance telling them to not speak the truth. "We dwarves never go down without a fight, and we promise to do whatever we can to make sure our highly valued burglar is protected. Do you understand?"

"You really mean that?"

"Of course."

Of course, because I cannot bear the thought of you getting hurt. You don't deserve that, Bilbo.

And Bilbo signed the contract then and there, without second thought. It was hard to tell whose smile was larger, Gandalf or Thorin's. But it was probably Thorin, as for once he knew far more than the wizard did.

When Thorin sang later that night, after the company had cleaned up (and Bilbo discovered his pantry empty), he could see tears falling down Bilbo's face. He wanted to wipe away those tears then and there, but knew he couldn't. Not now, not yet, but soon he would be able to do that without question. It would soon be a regular act between two intimate partners. He just had to keep pushing forward.

That night, Thorin did not take Bilbo's bed, letting the hobbit keep it. In the past he'd taken it in hopes of the hobbit sharing it with him, but apparently hobbits didn't work that way. Now he wasn't going to make the same mistake. Instead, he took the guest room closest to Bilbo's.

That night, he dreamed of the hobbit. He dreamed of him dressed in dwarven finery, sitting next to him on a throne in Erebor. He dreamed of claiming his lips over and over, of holding his hand, then his whole body. Then his dreams lost all innocence, and he remembered the look of the hobbit naked. He wanted to see it again, desired it like nothing else. The hobbit was going to be his, and anyone who tried to intervene be damned. Surely Mahal was gaping at him right now, unsure of how this was happening. Oh yes, Thorin knew that soon a special spot would be reserved for him and Bilbo in the halls of Mahal. He was finally going to win.

The next morning, he accompanied Bilbo to the Shire market to buy breakfast for his company, which he promised to repay for once their quest was done. Bilbo didn't even seem to listen to that, instead questioning Thorin about everything. Thorin did not lie, just held back sone of the truth, as Bilbo didn't need to know everything.

The hobbit seemed amazed by him already. Shortly after breakfast, he inspected his arms in the mirror and discovered that the years of working as a traveling smith really were worth it. Thorin vowed to show off his arms whenever possible to the hobbit. Filling him with lust certainly wouldn't do him any bad.

When Bilbo left, Thorin made sure he had everything he needed, including a handkerchief. He rode with him on his pony, Thorin saying it was because he needed to get used to it before he rode alone. He hoped Bilbo wasn't holding onto him tightly out of fear.


	2. A Discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili try to see what's wrong with Thorin.
> 
> Thorin is creepy.

Bilbo always got the best part of the food, the warmest blankets, and the best pony, whom he had taken a liking to and named Myrtle. He got to sit closest to Thorin, before even Fili or Kili, though he often didn't realize it. It was Thorin who sat next to him, and Bilbo had just never seemed to notice. He rode closest to Thorin, though that was because Thorin always slowed down a little. If Bilbo noticed his special treatment, he didn't mention it. He'd befriended a few members of the company and even made what could be called friendship with Thorin. Thorin certainly would've liked for it to be more, but he didn't make it start too fast. All he needed was a sign that Bilbo would like it. He'd show eventually.

Bilbo had become friends with Bombur, Balin, Bifur, Ori, Dori, and Bofur. Fili and Kili did not tease him at Thorin's request, did not even talk to him more than necessary. They were not going to ruin this for him.

Bombur and Bilbo both had a few mutual interests, and they could make small talk. They obviously weren't the closest of friends, so Bilbo didn't worry about them.

Balin would never do anything with Bilbo. He trusted Thorin, and he'd back off once Thorin made his intentions clearer.

He had no reason to worry about Bifur and Bilbo because of the language difference. They made incredibly simple conversation, and even then it was hard for them both. Bifur wouldn't be able to do anything to court Bilbo any time soon (and Thorin doubted that he was interested in doing that).

Ori was just a child. A smart child at that, and the many conversations he had with Bilbo couldn't even begin to be counted, but still a child. At most, he had a childish crush on Kili. He was smart enough to understand Bilbo was too far out of his reach.

Dori and Bilbo both liked to fuss about things and discuss tea. Thorin didn't fear them getting together simply because he couldn't imagine them actually doing it. They just weren't close enough.

Bofur was the problem. Bofur had been so close to Bilbo before, in almost all their lives. Thorin had been doing better at keeping them away from each other most of the time, but he couldn't keep them from talking. Luckily they weren't very close, but Thorin was still suspicious. If he had to take action against the dwarf then he would, and with no regrets. Bilbo rightfully belonged to Thorin, who had been determined enough to keep going back over and over again. He wasn't going to lose his hobbit to some toymaker with a pathetic beard.

Thorin had taught Bilbo how to fight. He'd been slow, patient, and even complimented him. Soon Bilbo would be using his letter opener to it's full potential.

One night, when Thorin was taking watch, and eyeing the hobbit every few seconds to make sure he was sleeping peacefully and free of harm, did Fili approach him. His brother was fast asleep and would probably wake soon when he noticed his brother gone.

"What is it?" Thorin asked. He wanted to keep watch without his nephew interrupting him.

Fili sat down next to him. "What is it with you and the hobbit?" Fill hissed, his voice so low that Thorin could hardly hear it. "You treat him so well. And why can't Kili and I talk to him? You're stupid if you think he and I, or anyone, hasn't noticed."

He'd known this would eventually come, though he'd expected it from Balin or Dwalin, not his heir. Luckily, he'd thought of a good lie.

"He is our burglar, and he will go face Smaug." Thorin had brushed over that most of that part when getting Bilbo to sign the contract, giving him a very vague description, less than fifteen words. "I will not have him wanting to leave us, leaving us without a good burglar. He will stay with us, be treated well by us, and then he'll go to Smaug. Do you understand?"

Fili sighed. "That makes sense. But why can't Kili and I at least talk to him?"

"Because I know you'd prank him or make jokes that bother him. He can't be thinking wrong of the line of Durin."

Fili sighed again. "That makes sense, too." He sighed. "You're just so uncharacteristically nice to him."

"What kind of person do you think I am?" Yes, Thorin could be rude, but he was surely not a bad person.

"Sorry," Fili said. "It's just, if you were anyone else, I'd say you were in love." He gave a weak laugh.

So you think me heartless? Thorin thought. You think I can't love? Oh how wrong you are, Fili, how wrong you are. I'd do anything for him, anything except leave him, him leave me, or let him be with another.

Kili had woken up and walked over to them. "What happened?" he asked. "Is everyone discussing something important? Can I join?"

Thorin glared and shook his head.

Fili gave him a look that Thorin couldn't decipher. He couldn't even understand his own kin.

"So it's about that?" Kili asked, sitting down.

Thorin grabbed them both by the wrists. "Do you two idiots want to go face Smaug yourselves?"

They both paled, then shook their heads.

"Because you will if you do anything to upset my burglar."

"Your burglar?" Kili whispered. "Since when do you own him?"

"It's my duty to watch over him. Believe it or not, but he's not doing this for gold, but out of the goodness of his heart (and how Thorin had described what he'd do as selfless and heroic to him). Now do you want that goodness to run out?"

"No," Kili said, eyes downcast.

"You're really serious about this quest." Fili added.

"Why shouldn't I be?" He didn't want to cause problems with his nephews, but he had to explain this somehow. "You've never seen it, but Erebor is worth fighting for."

Erebor with Bilbo was worth far more.

The two boys nodded.

"We're sorry," they said in unison.

"I forgive you," Thorin said, though he was prepared to get stricter if he needed to. He'd fought too hard to get Bilbo to lose him. And if he didn't win him then Thorin would be alone forever in the halls of his fathers, with Mahal laughing at him. And Bilbo? He'd be all alone in the gardens of Yavanna.

He wouldn't let that happen.

Losing wasn't an option.

Thorin checked once more that Bilbo was alright. In sleep, he looked to be in a deep peace, a smile spread out across his face. He looked so innocent, so free of the harm of the world. He knew that would change eventually, but Thorin would do anything to make sure it wasn't as bad as it could possibly be. Bilbo deserved some innocence and faith in the world still.

He would've given all the gold in Erebor to hold the hobbit then and there, but he reminded himself that good things came to those who waited. Soon he'd have his kingdom, and hopefully sooner his real prize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for trolls.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group travels.

This time, no harm would come to Bilbo if Thorin had any say in it. He was not going to let the one he cared about get hurt. He found the trolls early and he, Dwalin, Gloin, and Nori killed them theirselves before they could even get the ponies. Bilbo did not lose a single hair on his head.

"They ate that poor farmer and his family," Bilbo said after he'd heard the news. He looked as though he was going to cry. That was one thing Thorin loved about Bilbo, and that completely perplexed him. Why would he cry over a family that he'd never even met? Sure they didn't deserve to be troll food, but Thorin couldn't say he was ready to shred a tear for them. And Bilbo had been so sad when he'd learned about what happened to Erebor. Thorin would never forget the sad look on his face. He really was doing this out of the goodness of his heart, and Thorin loved him more for that. He wanted to own that good heart once and for all, to have that goodness stand beside him forever. Imagine the good he'd do for Erebor!

Bilbo was sad for the rest of the night. It really did bother to them, the farmer and his family being eaten.

If he could have, Thorin would have killed the trolls before the farmer and his family would've ever known they were there.

~

Thorin gave Bilbo Sting. He'd seen his letter opener before, and Bilbo was finally ready to wield it properly. He could even care less that it was an elvish blade.

The orcs came, and they followed Radagast like before. Thorin kept close to Bilbo, getting the chance to hold him.

"Do not fear, halfling," he said, holding Bilbo's chest. He rubbed his back, trying to calm him. "You will sooner watch me die by an orc then get killed by one yourself." If he had to, he'd do that, though he hoped that wouldn't happen. "I promised to ensure your safety."

He thought back to the life before, when he'd gotten so tired of seeing Bilbo suffer that he'd tried to make him stay home. It hadn't been the smartest idea when he looked back, but he didn't mind. He'd told himself once Erebor was reclaimed he'd go back and make the hobbit love him when both weren't in immediate danger of dying.

But now he did not. He needed the hobbit with him, to help him and his company when no one else could. He did not call the hobbit a burden, because he wasn't. He was precious, so very precious. Everything that had happened in his past life, and the life before, all went better then expected because of him. Thorin owed everything to him.

He felt an unimaginable large amount of grief when the hobbit relaxed. Yes, he would keep him safe. Yes, Bilbo could save Thorin, but not more times than already needed. Thorin wished he had mithril to cover Bilbo in, until he was completely safe from attack. He couldn't wait to get to Erebor and give that to him. Sting was also good for the hobbit to have, but he did not want him to have to use it so much. If anyone would be fighting, it was better it be Thorin.

Then they came to Rivendell. Bilbo was absolutely amazed, falling in love with the city in an instant.

No, Thorin thought, grinding his teeth together. These are elves, stupid, Mahal forsaken elves!

But he was in love with the city and Thorin could not near to see him suffer. Thorin thanked the elves, didn't glare at them, didn't call them names (it physically pained him to not whisper "treeshagger"). It would be rude to disrespect the ones Bilbo cared for so deeply.

What mattered was when they were alone. The two had just met with Lord Elrond, Gandalf staying behind to speak with him longer. Thorin took Bilbo to Lord Elrond's public gardens, and no others were there at the time. The hobbit seemed confused at why they were there together, but didn't seem to mind. He pointed plants out to Thorin and began listing off facts about them, and Thorin listened. Listening gave him a better chance at getting into a relationship faster. For once he needed to really show that he cared. Time and time again he'd learned that being cold to the hobbit just didn't work. Now he wasn't, and the hobbit seemed happy with their friendship.

Bilbo sat down on a stone bench and Thorin sat down next to him. He looked around in awe.

"It's so beautiful," Bilbo said. "Do you think so?"

"It does have a beauty to it," Thorin said.

"What do you mean?"

"Dwarves aren't usually the nature type; we love mountains, gems, not flora. But you're right, Bilbo, there is certainly an undeniable beauty to it. I can't deny that."

Bilbo seemed to like that answer, and smiled. He reached down and plucked a flower from the ground, then handed it to Thorin. Thorin's heart just about stopped. Did this, could this mean that he wanted to be with Thorin? Did Bilbo actually care enough to make the first move?

"You see those?" Bilbo asked, pointing at two yellow things in the white flower that Thorin couldn't identify.

"Yes."

Bilbo handed Thorin the flower. "Put those in your mouth and squeeze."

He did. If this had been anyone else, especially an elf (because they were still nasty treeshaggers), he'd have thought that he was being poisoned. What came out of the flower was sweet, like honey.

"They're called honeysuckles." Bilbo said, which explained the taste. "Have you ever had one before?"

"No, that was my first time."

Bilbo picked two more and handed one to Thorin, then took one for himself. Thorin realized that tonight his lips would be sweeter than usual, and he desperately wanted to taste honey on them.

"I want to thank you for your kindness," Bilbo said. "You've been so nice to me."

"It is nothing, halfling, just dwarven hospitality."

"But why? What have I done to deserve this?"

So much, Thorin thought. You've done enough to deserve all the gold in Erebor.

"You came on our quest, and I must thank you for that. I need and want my kingdom back, and you're helping me."

Bilbo nodded. "I was just scared of something happening to you all."

"You were?" He was going to wrap the hobbit in mithril when he got to Erebor. If he had to, he'd hide him, keep him from war.

"You didn't deserve this happening to you. I worry about you and your company."

"My company? You're a member of it."

The hobbit gave a small smile. "I guess I am."

"You are, and a valued member at that."

"Valued?" Bilbo smiled. "You aren't kidding?"

"Mahal damn me if I'm lying." And he wasn't lying, which Mahal knew.

They got up and walked around some more, Bilbo inspecting plants so green that Ori would probably faint if he heard that they were in fact, according to Bilbo, edible. Bilbo sniffed flowers, and Thorin did so also. He was happy and well fed, and Thorin wanted nothing more than to keep him that way. But time kept turning, and life would still have to go on. He needed to keep everyone moving.

Eventually, Bilbo grew tired and asked Thorin if it was alright if they went inside and slept.

"You didn't even have to ask."

They ended up, mostly all by Thorin's doing, in a room with two beds facing opposite each other. Bilbo changed privately, and when he came back, dressed in elvish sleepwear, Thorin had removed his clothes as well, but hadn't put on any to replace them.

Bilbo fell asleep almost instantly, not even questioning why he shared a room with Thorin. He looked so peaceful while he slept, and again Thorin ached. He made himself sleep, and all his dreams were peaceful. When he woke the next morning, he'd never been more refreshed in his life. Bilbo was still asleep, and it hurt him to wake him. If he could, he would've left him to sleep in peace.

They went to breakfast afterwords, Bilbo eating heartily. Gandalf was said to still be asleep, and once more Thorin decided to leave him behind. They still needed to keep moving.

Bilbo didn't complain about being cold and didn't trail behind like before. He and Thorin walked side by side, Bilbo covered in blankets Thorin had taken from the elves. If these got wet then he'd take out replacements. His hobbit wasn't going to freeze if he had a say in it.

Things were, of course, too good to be true. Like all those times before, Bilbo wasn't in Goblin Town. Where did he go? Thorin still had yet to know, but like always, he came back fine. Thorin had fought hard in Goblin Town with a fierce determination. Now his hobbit was back. To think, he'd once thought the hobbit abandoned them! It was obvious now that he never would, for he always came back.

Thorin knew what was coming next, and helped Bilbo into a tree. He threw pinecones with force even he didn't know he had. He would not let Bilbo be eaten by wargs or killed by orcs.

When Azog came, Thorin was able to kill him. His lackey had tried to kill him in anger, but Bilbo had saved Thorin. He'd done it without hesitation, using Sting for all it was worth. The eagles came earlier than before, everyone surviving without a scratch. Thorin grabbed Bilbo, still slightly shocked over what he'd done, and he'd gotten them both on an eagle. He was much healthier than when this last happened.

"You are worth everything to me, halfling." Thorin said, holding him to his chest. He comforted him. "You saved my life."

"I couldn't just not do it."

Don't downplay yourself! You don't need to be humble!

"You saved my life."

"I just didn't want you to die, not after what happened."

And just before they reached the carrock, he asked Bilbo the question that had been eating away at him. "Would you please let me court you?"

"You really want to do that?" Bilbo sounded so unsure of himself.

"Of course! How could I not?"

"Yes." Bilbo said, still looking unsure.

When they reached the carrock, Thorin snuck the two away and kissed the hobbit passionately. Yes, this was what he wanted, and the hobbit returned it.

"I didn't," Bilbo said.

"You didn't what?" Thorin asked, running his finger along Bilbo's smooth face.

"I didn't think you'd return my feelings."

"You had feelings for me?"

Bilbo turned red as his waistcoat. "You're just so handsome (yes, he thought he was handsome!) and nice to me. I couldn't help it."

Thorin smiled, then kissed him again. "My feelings are true, and I will prove them." They embraced once more, the kiss passionate. Bilbo returned it, and he was the one who explored their mouths first. Their hug in their last life was nothing compared to this!

And Thorin realized his plan had worked. If he kept this up then he'd win. Mahal could (and surely would according to Thorin) bite his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise to spend a lot of time describing what it'll be like at Beorn's.


	4. Beorn's Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, Thorin gets very creepy near the end. Please realize that any behavior like this in reality is disgusting and harmful, and that you never owe anyone sexual favors or a relationship no matter what they may have done for you.

Bilbo followed the courting rituals quite well. There really weren't many for dwarves. He wrestled Dwalin to show his strength (once you got used to fighting Dwalin he was easy to beat, but most weren't used to it), he proved his knowledge by singing dwarven songs of old (he actually spent more time answering Bilbo's questions on the songs than actually singing), and proving his wealth by showing off the few things of value he had. Compared to most other dwarves, he was the one most prepared to care for Bilbo. Bilbo asked if there was anything he had to do.

"It only seems fair for me to do so."

"You proved your strength when you saved me." And he'd do it again. The thought of Thranduil's dungeons again entered Thorin's mind. It seemed impossible to prevent that. "Just go up and talk to Ori and you'll prove your intelligence. If I'd known reading was that beneficial earlier than Fili and Kili would've spent their childhood in the library." He chose his next words carefully, for they were the ones he cared for least. By Shire standards, he was rich. By any other standards, he wasn't. "And from what I saw of your home, you seem well off financially." It was a lie, Thorin's mithril ring worth more than everything in Bilbo's house, but he said so anyway. Though he planned on doing everything he could to prevent the gold sickness this time around, he still worried about Bilbo's financial state.

Bilbo nodded, then reached down and picked a few daisies from Beorn's garden. Considering how big everything was there, even the flowers were big. He handed them to Thorin. "If you do this the dwarf way, then let me do this the hobbit way. I know it's not much, but it's very obvious in hobbit culture."

Thorin took a long sniff. Yes, this smelled good, very good. "I like it. They're worth a lot to me."

"You're just saying that to ma-" Thorin stopped Bilbo from speaking. He wasn't just saying that. After all those deaths, he needed some goodness in him. It was so easy to slip his tongue inside Bilbo's mouth, to explore the inside of it. The hobbit was surprised at first, then returned it. Soon they were backed into a tree, Thorin and Bilbo fitting together like matching puzzle pieces. Thorin would have given up all the gold in Erebor if it meant that moment could last forever.

But all good things come to an end, and the two separated. Bilbo had a large grin on his face. Thorin couldn't blame him.

This was what it should have been like before, Thorin thought. It was like this for a while, but it needs to go on. It can't end like it did last time.

His mind again wondered to the Arkenstone. By now he had developed a deep hatred for it and all it represented. He let that hatred grow, and he nurtured it, let it eat at him. He would destroy it with his own hands because it came between him and Bilbo.

For a long time they sat under that tree, neither speaking to each other. They were just happy together in silence, Thorin rubbing circles with his fingers gently into Bilbo's hand. He didn't know how long that they sat together, but eventually Bilbo's head found its way into Thorin's lap. Thorin didn't want to bother him, so he just gently ran his fingers through Bilbo's head of curls. Bilbo smiled, though he didn't seem to wake. He lay still, eyes closed. It was almost like the life before, where they'd also been incredibly close. It had been the life when Thorin almost won, when Mahal really thought they'd predicted wrong. Thorin suspected his near success was the only reason he was still even given another life.

Stop thinking about that life, Thorin told himself. You aren't living that one any longer. This is the one that you need to be worrying about.

He began to snore heavily, and only then did Thorin realize just how long it would be before the hobbit actually woke up. It didn't bother him though, the weight on his lap nothing he couldn't handle.

He looked down, memorizing every little feature he could of Bilbo. He was beautiful in his own way, thankfully free of elven looks (other than the ears, but those could be covered with hair), and lacking in dwarven. There was just his own form of beauty that he emitted without realizing it. Thorin sniffed the air, and noticed the faint scent of flowers clinging to him.

~

Bilbo took no hesitation in using Beorn's cooking supplies, no matter how big they were. He had trouble with the furniture, but he held the wooden spoon that was easily half his height the best that he possibly could.

He also used Beorn's outdoor oven.

"You made me a pie?" Thorin asked.

"Of course! It's practically a law to do that for those you care about in the Shire! I do hope you like blueberry." He seemed anxious.

Thorin took a large bite out of his first slice. "Delicious," he commented. He wasn't lying. Bilbo clearly knew what he was doing when he made this.

"I made all of it for you, so eat all you like."

Thorin imagined Fili and Kili stealing the leftovers. Those rotten little.... But he couldn't finish it; he just wasn't that hungry. "Share it with me."

Bilbo looked confused. "This usually doesn't happen... Actually, I can't remember a time this ever has happened."

"Not everyone has the stomach to eat seven meals a day. If you didn't want your pie shared then you should have courted Bombur."

Bilbo laughed, then pulled up a chair. "You're right."

All the other dwarves were out gathering meat for Beorn. Thorin liked being alone with Bilbo. Though the company would find out eventually, he wanted it to stay this way at least a little longer.

Hobbits loved to eat. Thorin actually let Bilbo have most of the pie, realizing Bilbo needed the food more than him anyway. In his past few lives he'd tried to feed Bilbo as much as possible, unable to bear to see him hungry. Only now did he really enforce it.

It was funny how he still hadn't tried as hard as he could have in his last lives. He should've known if you wanted a thing badly then you needed to work for it.

"Oh dear," Bilbo said. "I can't believe I ate sixty percent of that."

"Don't worry about it; I ate a big breakfast anyways." Thorin licked his lips.

Bilbo wiped crumbs and blueberry juice off of his face with a napkin. Did he realize just how tantalizing he was? And how did he manage to do it without knowing? Thorin would know if he were making a move on anyone.

Which is what he did.

"I got hot," he said.

"It is warm in here." Bilbo said. He was red as a beet, but he seemed to want to deny it. Lust flickered in his eyes and Thorin couldn't help but turn one side of his lips up. Yes, a little lust in him wouldn't hurt. If he kept doing this then he and Bilbo would be back to their old acts in no time. It'd be nice to take his virginity again.

If he kept him in lust then he made Bilbo want Thorin. If he kept him fed and happy then he'd be in debt to Thorin. If he was in debt then he'd make up for it.

"So, I was, uh, wondering if you wanted to do something with me." Bilbo said, frantically looking around the room, everywhere but at Thorin's chest.

"I wouldn't mind doing something with you at all."


	5. Beorn's Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More creepy fluff that takes place at Beorn's.
> 
> Bilbo also remembers his family.

They say if you love something then you should let it go. Whoever first thought of that had never met Bilbo Baggins. He was worth fighting for, and the moment Thorin got him it was impossible to let go.

If Thorin left him alone, then he'd have no one, or at least that's what Thorin guessed. He'd go home and mourn, then continue his life as a bachelor.

Thorin wouldn't stand for that.

Bilbo and Thorin were on top of Beorn's roof, looking out into the world. Bilbo was telling Thorin stories at Thorin's request.

"Have I ever told you about the Fell Winter?"

"No," Thorin lied, though he remembered it being brought up in the last life. Bilbo hadn't said much about it though.

"There were orcs and wargs invading the Shire."

What? Thorin thought. The Shire, and everything he knew about it, was that it was a peaceful place, filled with peaceful people. What was even there that orcs would want? Hobbits were too tiny to even be finger food.

"No one knew what to do at first because the attack was so sudden, so we mostly just holed up indoors." Bilbo chuckled. "Did you not get the joke? Hobbit holes, holed?"

Thorin gave a weak laugh.

"I get it, I'm not funny."

"No, I never meant to imply that!" Thorin lightly gripped Bilbo's arm. He was already thinking of ways to apologize.

"Thorin," Bilbo said, "you don't need to get so worked up. I'm sorry if you thought that I was offended."

Thorin breathed a sigh of relief. It was alright, everything was still fine. Bilbo was still his, just like he belonged. Just like he was supposed to be.

"But then we couldn't any longer. Many ran out of food and firewood." There was no playfulness to his voice now. "So my mother, Eru Iluvatar rest her brave soul, went with a group of hobbits out to fight."

"I thought hobbits, other than you of course, couldn't fight."

"Believe it or not, but the Shire holds some of the world's best archers; Kili would be put to shame."

Kili. Thorin had barely even thought about the boy. Now he had Bilbo to worry about, and the fact that he needed to keep him. His eyes had been set on his prize, now he had it, and he wasn't going to let anyone or anything take it from him. As long as Thorin prevented the battle then they should live anyway. The Arkenstone wouldn't take a hold of him this time, or at least not without a fight.

"My mother killed more than twenty orcs. She was ultimately killed by some, and the archers managed to make the rest leave." Tears were falling down his face. "And ever since I helped you kill Azog's lackey, I've felt closer to her than ever before."

Thorin reached out and held Bilbo to his chest. Bilbo cried for a long time, and Thorin cried too when he'd remembered all the cruel things he'd said to Bilbo in his earlier lives. If he'd known then he wouldn't have insulted Bilbo so. Though Bilbo did not remember that life, Thorin was still ashamed of that.

He looked down at Bilbo's face, slightly blurred by Thorin's tear.

No. Thorin thought. It is different now, and so am I. I will never again do that.

"How do you think she would feel about that?" Thorin asked. "What do you think she'd think of any of this?"

Bilbo wiped away his tears. "She'd be proud." His voice cracked, and a few more tears fell. "I did what she would've done, and it was the right thing."

"Then you have nothing worth regretting."

That makes one of us, Thorin thought, though he held no contempt to Bilbo.

"You're right." Bilbo smiled. "You really are right."

Thorin smiled back. He felt something in him that he hadn't felt in a long time, but he would kill for the feeling.

Their lips met and the feeling increased inside Thorin exponentially.

He could almost forget the future, lose his memories of the past, all those awful pasts, and think only of the present, what he had now. What he'd finally won.

He kissed Bilbo harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next we get Mirkwood, and even more importantly the dungeons of Randy Thrandy.


	6. A Seemingly Never Ending Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin in Mirkwood and the dungeons of Thranduil.

He remembered Mirkwood. It was so dark, so gloomy, nearly lifeless. All he could think of was Bilbo as the spider's venom drained his energy. No fear came to him that Bilbo wouldn't save them, but he didn't want to relive this again. It was always one of his least favorite parts about each life.

He's coming, Thorin thought. He'll save us, and then we'll end up in Thranduil's dungeon.

He reminded himself that this would be worth it in the end.

"Thorin," Bilbo's voice called. He sounded so far away. Thorin hoped that this was real, that Bilbo truly was there. He didn't want this to be just a dream induced by the spider's silk. "Thorin, is that you? I've got everyone else out! Thorin, everything will be alright!" He clung to his hobbit's words like a man dying of thirst to a well's bucket.

When Bilbo freed him, he said nothing. There wasn't anything to say. Bilbo was seeing him now at his weakest, when he barely had any energy left. He could've died by spiders of all creatures! A warrior like him deserved to die by orcs, or in battle against elves, or by Smaug himself for crying out loud, but not by spiders.

Bilbo led the dwarves, helping them in whatever way he could. He even helped carry Bombur, asleep due to falling in the Enchanted River, with Bofur and Bifur. That still had happened. Thorin's eyes hungrily followed over him, wishing for him. He could feel himself going hard, and in Mirkwood of all places. It wasn't supposed to happen this way! Thorin wasn't supposed to be weak, and he wasn't supposed to be lusting after Bilbo in Mirkwood. What he needed was to be his strong and majestic self again, to impress Bilbo.

He tried to negotiate with the elves, but they were taken. As always, Bilbo vanished.

He'll be back, Thorin thought. He always comes back.

He congratulated himself for at least trying to help his company escape. Bilbo had at least seen him do that; from what he remembered of his past lives, he'd need to show his bravery again.

The dungeons were as bleak and dreary as Thorin remembered them to be. He was all alone, at the mercy of Bilbo. It would take at least a month before Bilbo could actually free them. He had a lot if thinking in front of him.

~

Thorin began to track the elves. A woman named Tauriel always came in the morning, eying everyone suspiciously. She did give extra food however, causing Thorin to question her motives. What was she trying to get from them?

Sometimes a blond man would follow her, by the name of Legolas if Thorin had heard correctly. He was strangely kind, and far more talkative than Tauriel herself. He didn't spend much time near Thorin, however.

It seemed like a long time before Thorin saw Bilbo, though really it was only about four days if Thorin was counting correctly. Time stretched on in his cell, and he only had his thoughts to keep him busy.

"Thorin," Bilbo said, and for once he didn't act surprised at the hobbit being invisible. By now it was the most normal thing in the world. "I've finally found you!"

"Bilbo!" Thorin wished he could see the hobbit. He must really have been worried about Thorin now, though he couldn't blame him.

"Don't ask why you can't see me because that doesn't matter."

Thorin nodded. "Yes, of course, whatever you say." He sounded eager, and he couldn't really help it. His hobbit had finally come! "Oh Bilbo, how are you?"

"Surviving." His voice was quite glum. He was probably hungry, cold, and very lonely. Just because he wasn't behind bars didn't mean that he was any safer or more free from the clutches of Thranduil. Once Thorin had his gold back he was going to make Bilbo hiscown private room in the mountain, and fill it with everything that he'd loved. There would be enough books to make Ori faint, enough tea to make Dori cry out of want, enough warm, regular meals to make Bombur endlessly hungry, and anything else Bilbo wanted. Bilbo would be fed, warm, and rich, not to mention married to him. The thought both brought him comfort and filled him with determination.

"I'm so sorry about this; it certainly wasn't listed in your contract."

"Don't worry about it." There was a sound, Thorin guessing it to be Bilbo shifting from one foot to the other.

If he knew of what he'd done before, Thorin thought, then he wouldn't be nervous. But the thought brought him no comfort, for it only reminded him of his end.

"You're so far from everyone else! Do you know how worried that I was? I really thought you to be dead for some time, and I was so sad!"

"I'm alive!" No, Bilbo would not mourn for him. Not this time, and never again. "And don't ever think otherwise. I've lived through worse." Thorin knew it was a weak joke, but it needed to be said.

"You're right. I do just wish things didn't have to be this way." He shifted once more. "Please put your hands through the bars."

Thorin did, and Bilbo put something in it. He looked down to see a small cake, covered in white frosting, with a bright red cherry on top.

"How did you get this?" Thorin asked.

"I, well," Bilbo said, drawing out the pause, "I stole it. You didn't speak highly of Thranduil, so I stole from his own plate!"

Thranduil. The name reminded Thorin that this wasn't over, that he was still coming. It was going to be just as bad as the times before, or at least Thorin guessed it would be.

"Thank you," Thorin said. His mouth watered; the cake, though small, certainly looked delicious, and Thorin wished he could've seen Thranduil's face when his own food was stolen from his plate. "Now would you do me a favor?"

"What?" By the tone of his voice, Thorin could tell that Bilbo would do anything he said. He wanted to ask for something else, to ask that when the guards brought food he snuck inside and spent a few hours with him. But right now he had far more important issues than that.

"Steal a cake for yourself," Thorin instructed. "Actually, steal as much as you want. I am guessing that you are very hungry."

"Of course, Thorin!" His voice held some shock in it, a little bit of surprise that Thorin knew of his hunger. But Thorin knew Bilbo would follow his instructions and eat food. What he needed was a well fed and happy burglar. He didn't want Bilbo any other way.

~

Thranduil came for him after a few days. Thorin had been waiting for it, mentally preparing  himself for this moment. Surely Bilbo would find a way to sneak in and see it. If he wanted to prove that he was more than just a mad prince chasing after a broken, impossible dream, then now would be a time to do that.

This was the first time that he came without any guards. "Oakenshield," he said, "it has been quite some time."

"Yes," Thorin said, "it has." He showed no emotion, though inside he burned with rage and anger. But keeping his cool was important, especially in front of Bilbo. Even if he wasn't seeing the two talk right now, he still needed to act as though he was.

I'm not afraid of you, Thranduil. Thorin thought. I've faced far worse.

His words were true, and it didn't matter whether or not Bilbo was there. Thranduil was an obstacle in the way of Thorin getting what he wanted, and he would be taking none of it. If Thranduil wanted a fight, whether by weapon or wit, then Thorin would give him a fight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for Thorin to give Randy Thrandy a taste of his own medicine. Yes, that will be the entire chapter because I can.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to update soon.


End file.
